Patience

"A new tree had grown from the stump and its trunk had grown along the ground until it reached a place where there were no wash lines above it. Then it had started to grow toward the sky again. Annie, the fir tree that the Nolans had cherished with waterings and manurings, had long since sickened and died. But this tree in the yard--this tree that men chopped down...this tree that they built a bonfire around, trying to burn up its stump--this tree had lived!"
Betty Smith, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

On my first day at the Boys and Girls Club, I distinctly remember thinking, "Well, I can cross elementary school teacher off my list of potential career options, because there's no way I'm going to be able to handle this for long."

That was a week ago. And I don't feel that way anymore. I've been working with second and third graders every day. And every day I come home feeling worn out, frustrated, and, somehow, ready to go back.

It's hard to explain how I feel about working with these kids. I'm really enjoying it, and I love building relationships with them. And at the same time, I'm frustrated.

This is a school that was on academic watch just a few years ago, and now has the rating of "continuous improvement." It's not in the best neighborhood. A good number of the kids have behavioral issues, most likely caused by an unstable home environment. I'm guessing that during the school day, their teachers have to spend most of their time on a few unruly students while the other kids are forced to wait. Therefore, most of the school is really far behind. It's really unfair.

I wish I had more time to work with them on their homework. There are 15 kids trying to get my attention at once, all claiming to need help. And I don't think they've ever really learned to try to work out the problems themselves. They get frustrated so easily, and they just start shouting out numbers without really trying.

A typical tutoring session with a second-grader:

Me: Okay, what is 9-6?
Student: One.
Me: Why do you think it's one?
Student: Two.
Me: No, but it's okay. Just take your time and think it thro-
Student: Seven.

It seems to go like that for a lot of the kids. They don't really care how to get the answer, they just want the result. Which is kind of ironic, because that's exactly what standardized testing is training them to do.

Le sigh.

Personal note 1: According to Couch to 5k, I'm running for 20 minutes straight tomorrow. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

Personal note 2: Leaving for Europe in FREAKING. 11. DAYS. WOO!

Personal note 3: There is a new trailer out for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I. Just FYI.

Personal note 4: DID YOU WATCH THE PREMIERE OF DEXTER? WASN'T IT AMAZING?!