Bourbon

"To alcohol ... the cause of -- and solution to -- all of America's problems."
--Homer Simpson

Last weekend my family and I took a trip to Kentucky for a little bourbon.

More than 95% of the world's bourbon is made in Kentucky, mostly because the limestone helps the water go through some natural filtering process. It's quite a hot spot for whiskey, and my dad is particularly fond of Maker's Mark, so my mom took the fam on the Kentucky Bourbon Trail for his birthday (the fam being: Mom & Dad; me & Kyle; Zach & Mandi; Jen & Dan; Uncle Bo; Aunt Becky; and Andrew, Zach's friend from Albany).

To be completely honest, I think whiskey is the most disgusting thing in the world to drink. How anyone manages to drink it without wincing is beyond me. It's like sipping gasoline that's been stewing in someone's old shoe for eight days. And there's something about whiskey that makes you blurt out nonsense when you're finally able to exhale. Whenever I took a sip I'd have to follow it up with a "Wooo!" or a "Hoo-wee!" or a "Holy SHIZ it burns!"

So while I did try a few different kinds of moonshine, I mostly just enjoyed the scenery. We went to several distilleries around Kentucky, including Buffalo Trace, Woodford Reserve, Heaven Hill and, of course, Maker's Mark. We got to tour a few of them, and I learned a lot, like the difference between whiskey and bourbon (bourbon must be made in the U.S., be made with an all-natural grain mixture with at least 51% corn, distilled to no more than 160 proof and bottled at 80 proof or more) and why the older bourbons are so much better (so they say) and so much more expensive (the longer it ages in the barrel, the more water evaporates, the stronger it is).

I can definitely appreciate all the work that goes into making bourbon, but I just don't think I will ever learn to like it. Take me on a tequila tour, though, and I'll be singing a different song.

Anyway, here are a few pictures of the Maker's Mark distillery. This was the last place we went before we drove home, and it was also my favorite of the bunch. You will see why below.

Some Maker's Mark barrels in some cutesy wagon thingy

Learning about the burning of the barrels from our tour guide

Kyle and me, trying out the Maker's Mark

Here we go! As you may or may not know, Maker's Mark is known for the wax seal on the opening of the bottle. And at the distillery, they actually let you dip your own bottle in wax! How fun is that?

Almost everyone got a bottle for the sole purpose of dipping it (they have some marketing geniuses over at Maker's Mark). I didn't buy one, but my Aunt Becky did, and she let me dip it! Check it out! I'm a pro!

Me dipping Maker's Mark!

Dad dipping Maker's Mark!

Kyle and his finished product

My sister, Jen, and I in the gift shop. We did not purchase this.

I may not have enjoyed the whiskey, but it was a really fun trip. It always is when my crazy family gets together.