Bourbon

"To alcohol ... the cause of -- and solution to -- all of America's problems."
--Homer Simpson

Last weekend my family and I took a trip to Kentucky for a little bourbon.

More than 95% of the world's bourbon is made in Kentucky, mostly because the limestone helps the water go through some natural filtering process. It's quite a hot spot for whiskey, and my dad is particularly fond of Maker's Mark, so my mom took the fam on the Kentucky Bourbon Trail for his birthday (the fam being: Mom & Dad; me & Kyle; Zach & Mandi; Jen & Dan; Uncle Bo; Aunt Becky; and Andrew, Zach's friend from Albany).

To be completely honest, I think whiskey is the most disgusting thing in the world to drink. How anyone manages to drink it without wincing is beyond me. It's like sipping gasoline that's been stewing in someone's old shoe for eight days. And there's something about whiskey that makes you blurt out nonsense when you're finally able to exhale. Whenever I took a sip I'd have to follow it up with a "Wooo!" or a "Hoo-wee!" or a "Holy SHIZ it burns!"

So while I did try a few different kinds of moonshine, I mostly just enjoyed the scenery. We went to several distilleries around Kentucky, including Buffalo Trace, Woodford Reserve, Heaven Hill and, of course, Maker's Mark. We got to tour a few of them, and I learned a lot, like the difference between whiskey and bourbon (bourbon must be made in the U.S., be made with an all-natural grain mixture with at least 51% corn, distilled to no more than 160 proof and bottled at 80 proof or more) and why the older bourbons are so much better (so they say) and so much more expensive (the longer it ages in the barrel, the more water evaporates, the stronger it is).

I can definitely appreciate all the work that goes into making bourbon, but I just don't think I will ever learn to like it. Take me on a tequila tour, though, and I'll be singing a different song.

Anyway, here are a few pictures of the Maker's Mark distillery. This was the last place we went before we drove home, and it was also my favorite of the bunch. You will see why below.

Some Maker's Mark barrels in some cutesy wagon thingy

Learning about the burning of the barrels from our tour guide

Kyle and me, trying out the Maker's Mark

Here we go! As you may or may not know, Maker's Mark is known for the wax seal on the opening of the bottle. And at the distillery, they actually let you dip your own bottle in wax! How fun is that?

Almost everyone got a bottle for the sole purpose of dipping it (they have some marketing geniuses over at Maker's Mark). I didn't buy one, but my Aunt Becky did, and she let me dip it! Check it out! I'm a pro!

Me dipping Maker's Mark!

Dad dipping Maker's Mark!

Kyle and his finished product

My sister, Jen, and I in the gift shop. We did not purchase this.

I may not have enjoyed the whiskey, but it was a really fun trip. It always is when my crazy family gets together.

Try, Try Again

"Fall seven times, stand up eight. "
--Japanese Proverb

Last week was spring break for the kids at the Boys and Girls Club, and it was spent in a completely different building, just down the street from where we usually go. It's called the ESPY Club, and it's completely devoted to the BGC; it's not also a school, or anything. So it has a pool, a huge gym, a game room...in other words, plenty of things to keep the kids occupied.

A week before break, all of the adults had met up at the ESPY club to plan organized, constructive activities for the kids in each age group. That plan didn't really work out.

Instead, we basically took the kids from four or five local schools and plopped them into this new building and let them have free rein over it. I walked in on Monday to kids of all ages running around, swimming, playing ping pong and asking me for money for the vending machines.

The thing is, it actually worked out really well. I think the kids needed a break as much as I did. They needed to be able to make their own decisions for once and just let loose. (Just a little). And it was a much easier week than I had anticipated. In fact, the kids at our school might be the best behaved of the entire district. I had a really fun time with them.

My favorite moment BY FAR from spring break happened on Friday. The entire BGC went roller skating at the Fun Factory, and the kids got free skates and were going round and round the rink. There is this little kindergartner we have named Cornelius, who is just the cutest freaking little guy in the world. He's really tiny, probably the shortest kid in the school, and he's uber sweet.

Cornelius had never roller skated before, but he didn't want a lot of help from the adults. I was watching him for a while on the sidelines, and he literally could not skate for more than three seconds without falling down. And whenever he fell, he'd fall again trying to stand up.

But he never, ever stopped standing back up. And he had the biggest smile on his face; I could tell he was having the time of his life.

Plus, in the rare moments he was actually on his feet, he'd start pumping his arms and hips to the music.

I was literally crying from laughing so hard. What a guy.